Hitting the Rock-Numbers 20

In the morning, the kids and I have been reading through The Story.  Last week we read the chapter about how Moses and Aaron were not allowed into the Promised Land because they did not honor God as God.  The story takes place in Numbers 20 as the Israelites were wandering their extra 40 years in the wilderness due to their disbelief.   There is no water and once again the Israelites are cranky with Moses and Aaron and wish they would have died or stayed in Eygpt.  This story also seems to take place not long after Miriam dies.  Moses is dealing with the death of his sister, no water and cranky, rebellious Israelites.  If he took one of those stress tests, I am sure his score would indicate he might be close to burnout or a nervous breakdown.  Moses and Aaron's reaction starts out as it should.  They go straight to God and fall facedown before Him.  God hears and gives them instructions to speak to the rock and water will come.

Moses and Aaron then gather the people but instead of speaking to the rock, Moses says, "Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water from this rock?" (Numbers 20:10)  He then strikes the rock twice and water comes.  Now maybe I wasn't listening right but didn't God say Moses was to speak to the rock?  God's response to this action was a sad one but one that shows how important honoring God is.  In Numbers 20:12,   the Lord speaks to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them."

I have been thinking about this story all week.  I thought about Moses and how stressful his life must have been.  He is wandering the wilderness for 40 more years due to grumbling Israelites and now they are whining about no water.  In my humanness, I don't blame him for getting mad.  It's excusable.  He was having a bad day.  But God says, "Because you did not trust me enough..." Ouch.  Bad day or not, Moses is expected to trust God enough and to honor him.   I may not have grumbling Israelites but I do have students who have decided to quit for the year, talk whenever they want, and then complain that their grade is not high enough.  So when I sometimes lose my cool, I find it excusable.   God has been showing me it is not excusable.  When I lose my cool, I am not honoring my heavenly Father.  I am not trusting that He will give me calm words to say.  I am not even sending up a bullet prayer of help me.  I am going at it alone.   I am striking with angry words when I need to be speaking His words.   So in my interactions with students this week, this story has been on my mind.  My words and actions that don't honor God have consequences seen or unseen.  And only my trust in God's strength will bring about the words and actions that will bring honor to his name.  At the end of the year, I want my students to remember a teacher who took time to listen and work with them.  A teacher who loved them and they knew something was different about her- the God she serves.  Not a teacher who got angry easily but a teacher who set boundaries that brought about learning.  Not a teacher who took things personally but a teacher who pushed forward even on the hard days.  So here is to finishing the year strong with a prayer to trust God and honor Him in all things.

Lessons from my Rose Bushes-Take Two

This afternoon I looked out my window and was pleasantly surprised to see one of my rose bushes in full bloom.

Now most of my rose bushes are in the stage below and will probably bloom sometime this week. 

But right now the pink roses are shining forth all by themselves.  I was thinking about how we are all in different stages of life.  Some of us are in the hibernation stage of winter.   Others are growing and our buds are beginning to form.  Then there are those who are in full bloom.  This stage is fun and we all want to be there.   We see our purpose.  We see God using us. The tough thing is that we are not all in that stage nor can we stay in that stage forever.  It can be hard to see others blooming when we are stuck in one of the other stages.  We enjoy the beauty of our friends' blooms.  We see God working.  We just wish we were there too.  The great news is just as those other bushes will bloom in their own time, we will bloom on God's time table.

Because....

No discipline seems pleasant at the time but painful.  Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Heb. 12:11

Being confident of this very thing, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.  Phil 1:6

There is a time for everything and a season for activity under the sun.  Ecc. 3:1.


Dear God, Help me to not get in the way of the growth you are making happen in my life.  May I rejoice in the blooms all around me. May I be understanding to those who are struggling and are in a different stage than I am.  May I bloom for you so that I may bring glory to your name.  Amen

Other Rose Bush posts are here and here.

Plugging into the Right Source

Where I live the electricity can do funny things to your electronics if a person is not careful.  Sometimes we have too much electricity, sometimes just a bit, sometimes none and even sometimes just the right amount.  Our house has a regulator to help the flow stay consistent so that my refrigerator and other electronics don't get fried by a sudden surge or damaged over time by the constant changes.  For an extra precaution, I will often use the device above.  It has two purposes.  The first purpose is that it lets me charge my kindle and other things because it has different adaptors.  Secondly, it gives me some surge protection.  I especially like to use this at school where there is no regulator.  

I am finding in my life, I am of need of a surge protector/adaptor.  A couple of weeks ago I had a busy week.  I was getting caught up at school after being gone a week and was facing a deadlines for grades, ordering for next year and getting my kids to their various events.  I found it hard to drag myself out of bed each morning.   I kept telling myself that tomorrow I would get up a bit earlier for that God time I had been putting off.  As the week went on, getting up earlier did not happen.  I was feeling more frazzled and ended up sending a kid to the office more so I wouldn't say things that I shouldn't than that his behavior was worse than normal.  I had no reserve.  In my case, I needed to totally unplug because one more incident would potentially fry me.  Thankfully I had the next morning off and the house to myself.   With a cup of tea in hand, I found myself writing in my journal all those feelings I had kept bottled up.  As tears fell, I heard God speak to me through his word that He is there.  He wants me to connect with Him.  He wants to hear about my day good or bad.  He knows I messed up.   He knows I can only do life in His strength.  He was always there waiting.  This time was just what the doctor ordered.  

Last week I still didn't make it up every morning as early as I would have liked but somehow I found time to connect with God at the beginning of my day.  Then miraculously I was aware of Him throughout my day.  My students still acted up.  I still wanted to yell at my students but  I was able to take baby steps in the right direction because I had my surge/protector adaptor.   Those moments when I was plugged into God,  I could see more clearly the situation around me.  Sometimes it helped me relate better but mostly it made me call for help since I had no idea how to respond.  I didn't get it perfectly but I knew I wasn't alone.  As I get older I am learning that time with God is not a formula or a checklist item.  It is about connecting with a Father who has a listening ear and wants me to abide in Him.  The thing is I have trouble slowing down.  I get distracted too easily.   Why do I so easily stray?   So I am praying this week that I will stay plugged into the right source because what a difference it makes.

Quotes- April 2013

April brought us lots of rain and news of changes to come.  It was a month of ups and downs, of learning and finding those places that need fixed.  So here are the words that spoke to my heart this month.

From Ann Voscamp at A Holy Experience on April 10, 2013:
"You can't be everyone's Savior but you can be someone's prayer warrior."

From the speaker at our woman's retreat here on the story of Lazarus:
"Sometimes when people are in the midst of transformation they stink."

From Brennan Manning:
"In every encounter we either give life or we drain it, there is no neutral exchange."

From Sinclair Ferguson:
"The most single aid to my ability to use my tongue for the glory of Jesus is allowing the word of God to dwell in me so richly that I cannot speak with any other accent."

From the Message II Corinthians 1:
"Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally-not a bad idea since he's the God who raises the dead!"

From Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions by Lysa TerKeurst
"In God's economy, people don't stand on opposing sides of the conflict scale.  People stand on one side and Satan stands on the other.  When we dump hurt into one another's lives, we aren't leveling the conflict scale.  We are just weighing down the people side of the scale and elevating the Satan side of the scale.  Satan loves it when we do his work for him by dumping on each other.... but realizing it's all of us against Satan-he's the real enemy.  But this is hard to do when all we see is that flesh and blood person standing there who, quite honestly, is planted squarely on the last good nerve we have left."

"In other words, is my desire in this conflict to prove that I am right, or is my desire to improve the relationship?"

"Then I tackle issues not the person."

Blessings, TJ

Links-April 2013

The last week has been filled with training.  First I was involved in a SYIS (Sharpening your interpersonal skills) workshop followed by a ladies retreat.  My mind is full of many things that I hope to go back to and study more closely in the weeks to come.  In spite of the days being draining, it was less tiring than a regular school day.  Tomorrow it will be back to my classes ready or not.  I would like to think that I am mostly ready for this final 7 weeks.  Here is some online reading I have enjoyed or found useful this past month.

The first comes from one of my favorite bloggers Ann Voscamp in her post Daring Greatly to Live Fully-Right Where You Are.  These three quotes stood out to me for this season in my life.
1. "Joy isn't a function of what happens but of what you think.  Joy is a function of how you thank."

2. "Dare to regularly stop the work of your hands and give God your knees because you believe God can do more than you.  Dare to believe God doesn't want perfectionism-He wants our praise."

3. " Dare to give up clarity-because God gives a call.  Dare to give up life road maps because God gives a relationship.  Dare to live without answers because God gives a hand.  Dare to live by faith-not by feelings, formulas, facts  or fences."

The next comes from Rachel Held Evans about how Jesus Started With the Outliers.   I read Rachel's blog to make me think and I would say this one made me do just that.

On a more personal note, why do I hold grudges against others?  Tony Reinke at Desiring God offers some insight in his post On Grudges and Generosity.

What have been some of your favorite posts to read?

Hanging onto Hope and Psalm 71

(from www.strangecosmos.com)

The absence of hope, I see it in the eyes of the beggar children tugging on my sleeve desperate for me to give them something.  I hear it in the comment of a student who has lost family when he says, "what if we die by then..."  I feel it in the desperation of a father's question as he asks will our school still be here if trouble comes.  I live in a land where the majority don't feel hope and the rest manufacture a false hope by gaining money and power. A few have real hope, the kind that only Jesus can give, and my prayer is that they are stronger and bigger in number than we know.  

I even find myself struggling with hope sometimes.  Will my students ever learn? Will my children ever listen? How can I help when there is so much hurt without causing more hurt?  Why do I keep messing up?  Will I ever learn the language?  Will I ever see fruit in this land? 

In Psalm 71:5, I repeat the psalmist's words as my own, "For you have been my hope, O Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth."  I know this to be true but need to be remind of it often.  By God's grace, I have been his child from a young age.  Looking back I see his guidance and provision in all seasons.  

Then why is it so hard to always have hope as the psalmist did?  In verse 14, he continues with "But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.   Why is he so sure, so confident?   Looking back at Psalm 71, I see 4 things that helped him keep his focus and hope in God.

1. He made God his refuge. (vs1,3)  When my week is hard, do I run to God and the peace of his presence or run to comfort in books and movies?  When I don't know what to do, do I go to God first for help or those around me? 

2. Praise him. (vs 6,8,22,23) Praise either alone or with others helps focus our eyes back on the one who controls all things.  Praise him with your words.  In the past two years, I have started writing down my gifts of gratitude each morning.  Praise him with your song.  Nothing like a hymn or worship song to lift your spirit and remind you of who God is.  It is when we remember who God is that we can trust in the one who gives us hope.

3. Spend time with him. (vs8) Even if it is just sitting quietly, spend time in God's presence.  Spending time with God not only gives us a new perspective but by slowing down and sitting before him we acknowledge that we can't do this life without him.

4. Remind yourself and others of what God has done. (vs 15,16,17,24) How much more hope we would have if we shared our answered prayer and God's graces rather than our woes and complaints.  Maybe I should reword that.  How much more hope I would have if I shared my answered prayer and God's graces rather than my woes and complaints.  Our family sometimes will share at the dinner table our best and worst of the day.  I am thinking a better choice might be "How did we see God today?"

Dear God of all hope, Thank you that you have been on this journey with me from the beginning.  Thank you that you bring hope in the midst of a dark world.  I pray that I will find refuge in you and always hope.  I pray for opportunities to share that hope with those around me.  May your presence fill this land with love, grace and hope.  In Jesus name, Amen