Fear Factor

I am not a stranger to fear. When my DH and I were first married, he had a 45 minute commute back and forth to Dallas. He would dutifully call me before he left work (pre-cell phone days) and then head my way. Sometimes the drive would take 45 minutes and other times it would take over an hour. At the hour point, I would find myself watching the clock and imagining all of the things that could be wrong. He was in a wreck. His car broke down and the list goes on. I didn't limit my worries to just him. I was teaching in a Ft. Worth city school at the same time as the shootings in Columbine. My room was on a hall way that led to the outside. Even though the school took security measures, I still at times did not feel safe partly due to my imagination. In both situations, nothing ever happened. I was fearful for nothing. Taking precautions is one thing. Worrying yourself sick is another.

Now I am in a different season of life. I live in a country where I have to wear a head covering and in a place that many people feel is dangerous. Actually my family and I just moved here. People often ask me, "Are you afraid to live there?" And amazingly, my answer is "No, I am not afraid to live here." What has brought the change in me? Over the years, God has worked in me on turning all my fears over to him. I am not perfect at it but am getting better. I am comforted by his promises and that the best place to be is in the center of his will.

The other day I was also reminded of how there is one fear that is good. It is the fear of God. Also when I am afraid, my first instinct needs to be to turn to God. This was a lesson that David in the bible also had to learn. David had just found out from his best friend Jonathan that David was no longer safe in the palace. Saul wanted to kill him. David would have to run and hide. First David goes to the priest and gets food and a weapon not telling the priest why he was really in a hurry. This step will ultimately end up in the death of the priest and most of his family. Then David tries to go to the King of Gath and take refuge there. The king's advisers remind the king that David was a great warrior and could still be his enemy. David seeing he is in danger acts insane to the point of saliva running down the side of his mouth. From here, David runs and hides in the cave of Adullam. (I Sam 21-22:1) It is after this incident that scholars believe Psalm 34 is written. David realizes in his fear he made some wrong choices. He should have looked to God first of all for guidance and given his fears to the Lord. In verse 4, it says "I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears." My favorite is verse 7 which says "The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and he delivers him." As the Psalms goes on, David also instructs the reader to teach the children to fear God and look to him. I am encouraged by David's example. He didn't always get it right the first time but ultimately he looked to God for deliverance from his fears.

Dear God, You are an awesome God. May I fear you and seek you first in all things. Take away the fears that want to creep into my life everyday. Help me to be wise in my dealings but not afraid to go and do what you have called me to do. May I also teach my children to fear you and give you their fears. Amen