Tuesday, July 16, 2013

5 Reasons Why My Kids Should be Messed Up


I am learning that parenting has a lot of grace involved.  Okay maybe I am accepting it better now that my kids are older.  They are both teenagers so I still have lots of parenting to go but looking back I wish I would have chilled out a lot more during the younger years.  I am a rule follower.  I like to follow rules.  If someone says you should do something, I try to do it.  Over the years, I have made rules out of things that really were guidelines or great suggestions.  I take the blame for the guilt I put on myself for not measuring up to a standard I thought was ideal.  I have also found I am a lot more careful when someone asks my advice about those younger years knowing that parenting is not a one size fits all but instead different for each family and child.  So here is my factious list of reasons why my kids should be messed up or the guidelines I made into rules.

1. I did not nurse my kids for a full year.  I only made it four months at the most.  So even though my kids may not be the healthiest children around, they rarely get sick.

2. I let my kids drink juice for breakfast.  (My doctor thought they should drink no juice since it could rot their teeth.  I forgot to tell my husband not to mention their juice intake when he took the kids for a physical and he got quite the lecture. )  So far their teeth are doing good.

3. My kids were not potty trained before age 3 instead of age 2.   But when they were trained, they were trained and not me.   I can't believe how I let all that stress me out so much.

4. I sent one kid to day care for 2 years and both of them to public school for two years.  I am amazed at all the opinions about schooling that are out there.  I really like homeschooling and am looking forward to doing it again this next year.  I also know that sometimes different seasons call for different solutions.  By the time, my daughter has graduated she will have attended private school, homeschooled, attended public school and attended an International School.  Who knows she could either be terribly confused or an educational expert.

5. I moved my teenage daughter overseas when she was 12.  I even moved her to a country where she has to wear a head scarf daily.  The current thinking is moving a child at this age could be detrimental to their development.   In God's grace, this place has been the best place for her.

I am sure the list can go on... But that's not really the point of this post.

In the next few years, we will be sending our daughter off to college and our son will be in High school.  There will be many decisions to make.  There will be many opinions about what classes they should take, what major they should have, and will they keep the faith as they go out on their own.  As a mom, I will probably have some freak out moments.  I will probably not do everything right.  On the other hand, I do have some things on my side.  I have a God who loves my children more than I do.  I know when we seek God, we find Him.  When we ask for wisdom, He gives it.  I know grace is important but so is truth.  As a family, my prayer is that we seek to have both.  Just as God is working on me, He is also working on the rest of my family.  So as we seem to head into this new season, I am excited to see how God will guide our family and what adventures He will take us on.

Dear God, Thank you that you are a God of grace and truth.  Help us to focus on you and becoming more like your son.  Give us guidance as our children have many decisions to make in the years to come.  May we have grace with ourselves and others on the decisions that are made but never compromise the truth.  In Jesus name, Amen

2 comments:

OliveTree said...

Hi T.J., I can so relate. My kids must be similar ages to yours. It's a relief to know they're making it despite all our mess-ups...

Loved your title. My kids ARE messed up, but then, so am I! ha ha ha

TJ said...

Thanks for your comments. Glad to see you are blogging again.