Saturday, August 09, 2014

Trusting in the midst of If's, And's and But's

Sitting on the plane next to my husband, my heart was racing and the adrenaline was pumping.  We were on the first leg of our journey but we were starting two hours late due to a mechanical problem and the pilots being MIA.   My mind was full of fuming at the pilots for being irresponsible and thinking through the logistics of making it to our next flight.   We ended up having just enough time to grab our bags,  to get checked into our international flight, and to find our gate before they started boarding our plane to take us back overseas.

I feel like I failed the trust test on this one.  Did I trust God to get us there on time?  Yes and no.  People were praying.  I could see how it could work but then my worrying said another story.   Did I trust that God was in control if we didn't make our next flight?  The Sunday school answer would be yes.  But.  Notice there is always a but.  Why can't I just trust with no if's, and's or but's.   The plan was to meet a friend and her three kids in Houston and travel the rest of the way together so we could help her out.  The plan worked.  But if the plan didn't work, did I trust God to take care of my friend and her kids?  Couldn't He have provided help for them along the way?  

I think without meaning to I limit God.  I put him in a box.  I say I trust him with all my heart but then I want to lean on my own understanding.  I want things to make sense.  Sometimes God doesn't make sense.  He used a boy with a few stones to kill Goliath.  He saved Peter from jail but James was beheaded. His plan to save us included His Son, Jesus, dying on the cross.  God doesn't always make sense but God is always good.  A truth I need to remember at all times.  We quote verses like 
As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.  Isaiah 55:9 NIV
Or
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.  Romans 8:28 NLT
Do I really live in a way that reflects I believe these words?  How do I react when the test comes?  How do I respond when things don't go as planned?  Or the future seems crazy?  Do I see an opportunity for God to work or do I despair?  Do I trust or fret? 

As humans, we want to put limits on our trust.  I will trust if...  I would trust but...  For our family, the next few months will test our trust.  There are many changes and many unknowns happening where we are.   Trusting won't be easy but it is not impossible either.   The key is staying grounded in who God is and remembering what He has already done for us.   It involves trusting God's heart even when we don't understand why life is going the direction it is going.  

Dear God, Your hand is at work in the world whether we see it or not, whether we understand or not.  Thank you that your work goes on whether we trust or not.  Forgive me for the times I worry and don't trust.  Forgive my unbelief.  In the days ahead, may I trust you with all of my heart and lean not on my own understanding.  May I acknowledge you in all things.  May I believe you can do the impossible.  May I trust and not be afraid.  Work in me and through me.  In Jesus Name, Amen




1 comment:

Chris and Julie Medley said...

Thanks for sharing your heart! Our trust is only theoretical until it is tested, right? I'll be praying and learning along with you to trust fully in God's good plans.
JM