Tuesday, June 09, 2015

My Anything Musing


Book Review:

Anything, well, could be anything.  Anything could be something big like moving across the ocean, or adopting a child.  It might be something small like inviting your neighbor over for coffee, or giving up a little bit of sleep to have more time in God's word.  In her book, Anything, The Prayer that Unlocked My Soul and My God, Jennie Allen shares her story of how she wanted more and ended up with a deeper relationship to God.  God wanted her "anything" and in the process she found what a special place of trust that can be.  Here are a few quotes from her book that challenged me.
"To risk is to willingly place your life in the hand of an unseen God and an unknown future, then to watch him come through.  He starts to get real when you live like that." (p.9)
"Ever since I was young, I have been fascinated by the life of King David.  He made so many terrible mistakes, and yet he bled God.  He was passionate. .... Because he feared and adored God, he feared nothing else.  No one else.  What was different about my faith than David's?  Why did I live with this stream of fear of people?" (p.35)
"Abandonment only makes sense if there is a God worthy of abandoning everything for.  The greatest gift in surrender is that in letting go of everything you think will fix you and make you feel better, you find a person... not a pat answer or a verse or a cause. After your head clears from the struggle of wrestling yourself to the ground, you see a person." (p.168)
As I read, I knew that I needed to figure out what my "Anything" was.  My current season was ending, and I needed to be ready for anything.  This book was just right for this transition time.


From My Journal Last Week:

What is my anything?  Right now I live in  __________, but other than that my life is pretty comfortable.  In some ways, it's easy.   I have my kids, my family, my books, my house.  I do what I want to do and pretty much say no to the rest.   Except now things are changing.  People are moving and doing bold things-things I don't know if I could do.  My children are going away to school in the fall, and the beds in my house will be empty.   Maybe that is my anything.  I ask God to fill my beds and all ready we have had our first guest with another one coming next week.  But what if God wants more than to just fill the beds in my house.  What if he wants to fill me with his spirit and use me?   What if he heard my heart cry for more children and wants me to not have sons and daughters of my own but to love and teach someone else's sons and daughters?  What if this is my chance to step up and do the hard thing?  Will God meet me there?  Just because there is a need doesn't mean I need to fill it.  But what if I could?  I can do the science and the math.  The history should be okay.  The classroom management will take some thought as well as teaching language arts.  Teaching two 5th graders and one 7th grader would be out of my comfort zone.  I would be stretched more than I have been in a while.  It would require sweat and tears but bring purpose and joy in doing something I love.  I love teaching.  So God I could do it with your help.  I could.  Do you want me to?  Open or close the door.  Make it clear.  Lead me.  Guide me.  Remake me.  Amen

Now:

Now I am waiting for an answer of if my husband and I will be moving to another city where I will teach three students-two in 5th grade and one in 7th grade.  It sounds exciting but daunting.  I want it to happen.  I don't want it to happen.   The important thing for me was to say yes and be willing to follow through.  My anything could end staying where I am now and being faithful in the opportunities God sends my way.  I don't like the unknown but sometimes God works best in the unknown.   So for now, I wait and sort through my house and am purging just in case we need to move. 

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